i permit you to call me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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