I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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