you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
