My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
