I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
