I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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