he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
