I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
