she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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