note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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