and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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