New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
