he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
