he wants to bone in the snuggie
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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