Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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