I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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