It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
