we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
