My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
