i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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