Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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