We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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