unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
