why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
