Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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