I'm so fucking centered right now
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
