I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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