He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
