I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
