hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize