You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
