finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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