yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
