Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
