So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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