Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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