i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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