There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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