She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
