I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
