don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it's like iHOP with fire
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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