Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
