In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
