They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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