Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
