Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
