Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
