ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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