I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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