Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
