part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
