we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
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Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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