Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
