I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
