it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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