You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You can't special order awesome
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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