It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
