If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
