you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize