the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
