theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Congratulations! We have a period
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
