her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
