so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dick very happy bro
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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