i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
