I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i already hear my dad disowning me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
