if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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